| How to use this Book | ix |
| History | |
| Is Gay | 1 |
| Genesis | 2 |
| Prehistoric Gays | 4 |
| The Seven Wonders of the Ancient Gay World | 5 |
| Oregon Trail | 7 |
| The Statue of Liberty / Ellis Island | 8 |
| Atlantis | 11 |
| The Cold War | 13 |
| Notable Figures | 14 |
| Fergie's National Anthems (300BC - Now) | 14 |
| Paul Revere and the Rich History of Gay Yelling | 16 |
| Melissa's Sister | 18 |
| Culture | |
| Is Gay | 21 |
| Art History | 22 |
| Van Gogh's Severed Ear and the Gay Little Delivery Boy | 22 |
| The Mona Lisa Smile | 23 |
| Jean Defoleau: The Portraitist Who Painted for Free Just So at the End He Could Show Someone How Ugly They Were | 25 |
| The Two Lesbians Who Created Andy Warhol | 27 |
| Painting War Scenes Is Gay | 28 |
| Banksy and the Power of Queer Anonymity | 30 |
| Sculpture and the Gayness of Having a Physical Form at All | 32 |
| The Album Art for Katy Perry's Teenage Dream | 33 |
| Customs & Traditions | 34 |
| Saying "I Love What You've Done with the Place" | 34 |
| Looking for a Dinner Reservation for the Group | 36 |
| Quarterly Meeting of the High Gay Council | 38 |
| Fracking | 40 |
| Minimalism and the Queer Power of Being Withholding | 42 |
| Wanting to Be a Good Singer | 44 |
| Cakes That Look Like Other Things | 46 |
| Annabelle's Real Curse: Idols, Trinkets, and Tchotchkes | 47 |
| Going Fast in General | 49 |
| Secret Gay Holidays | 51 |
| Heroes | 52 |
| Jeff Probst | 52 |
| The 300 People Who Live Inside Toni Colette | 55 |
| Grumpy of the Seven Dwarves | 56 |
| Wilson from Castaway | 57 |
| Moms around the World | 58 |
| Twins: One Is Gay, and One Isn't | 60 |
| The Other Stonewall Jackson | 63 |
| Sports & Athleticism | 64 |
| The Rules of Football | 64 |
| Fringe Festival | 66 |
| Finishing a Conversation with Something Quippy | 68 |
| Powerful Women in Sensible Shoes | 69 |
| Sports on the Beach (Somehow Gayer?) | 70 |
| Halftime Shows | 73 |
| Gay Sports throughout History That No Longer Exist | 74 |
| Something That Happened One Time at a Hockey Game | 76 |
| The Inherent Power in Electing Not to Play | 77 |
| Food & Drink | 78 |
| Having a Smoothie? You're Gay | 78 |
| The Gay Secrets of America's Largest Chain Restaurants | 80 |
| Food That Looks Like Academy Award Winners (Female-Identifying Only) | 82 |
| Food Pyramid for Gay People | 84 |
| Grocery Guide: What to Buy at the Grocery Store for Your Son Who Just Came Out | 86 |
| How to Pour a Drink at a Gay Bar | 89 |
| Ordering Something for the Table | 90 |
| Salt Fat Ass-in-Heat | 91 |
| Science | |
| Is Gay | 93 |
| Physics | 94 |
| Waves Only Gay People Can Perceive | 94 |
| Why Gay People Walk Faster Than You | 96 |
| The Science of Ryan Murphy | 98 |
| What's Inside of a Black Hole | 101 |
| Adele Dazeem and the Moment John Travolta Transported Us into a Parallel Universe | 102 |
| Gay Word Problems | 104 |
| The Death Drop | 106 |
| Throwing That Ass in a Circle | 107 |
| How Do Magnets Work? (Hint: It Is Gay) | 108 |
| The Unabridged Story of Isaac Newton and the Apple | 110 |
| "Gravity" (The Song by Sara Bareilles) | 112 |
| How Acoustics Work and Clapping While You Speak | 113 |
| How/Why Gay Hair Looks and Moves Like That | 114 |
| Anatomy | 116 |
| The Queer Eye: Literally the Eyeball | 116 |
| The Inaccurate Mythology of the Limp Wrist | 117 |
| Supertasters | 118 |
| The Gay Heart | 119 |
| The Many Biological Shortcomings of Heterosexual Bodies | 120 |
| Claudius: The First Gay Surgeon | 121 |
| Biology | 122 |
| Showmanship in Nature | 122 |
| Horses Are So Sassy | 124 |
| Sure, Bears Are "Hibernating" | 125 |
| The Creeping Nature of Ivy | 126 |
| Why the Woods Are Scary | 129 |
| Evolution Is a Competition and So Is Being Gay | 130 |
| Waterfalls: When Water Wants Attention | 131 |
| The Rings of a Tree | 132 |
| Mitosis and the Need to Adopt Twins | 134 |
| Bacteria: A Testament to Queer Resilience | 135 |
| Gay Bugs | 138 |
| Wind and Weather Patterns Spreading Gay Messages | 140 |
| A Bunch of Gay Graphs | 141 |
| Acknowledgments | 149 |
| About the Authors | 150 |
| Table of Contents provided by Ingram Syndetics. All Rights Reserved. |
