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The wizards at Ankh-Morpork's Unseen University are renowned for many things--wisdom, magic, their love of teatime--but athletics is most assuredly "not" on the list. So when Lord Vetinari, the city's benevolent tyrant, strongly suggests to Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully that the university put forth a football team composed of faculty, students, and staff--or lose the funding that pays for their nine daily meals--the more-than-usually-at-sea UU wizards find themselves in a quandary. To begin with, they have to figure out just what it is that makes this sport of foot-the-ball so popular with Ankh-Morporkians of all ages and social strata. Then they have to learn how to play it. Oh, and on top of that, they must somehow win a football match "without" using magic.
And the thing about football--the most "important" thing about football--is that it is never "just" about football.
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