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If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out that, I suppose, would be a calamity.
"Benjamin Disraeli, British prime minister, on rival prime minister William Gladstone"
"Telegram from actress Gertrude Lawrence, about her part in "Private Lives": "
Nothing wrong that can't be fixed.
"Reply from playwright No l Coward: "
Nothing to be fixed except your performance.
On Acting Ability:
A great actress, from the waist down.
"Dame Margaret "Madge" Kendal, actress, on renowned actress Sarah Bernhardt"
On Acting, Bad:
Most of the acting could pass for government-inspected ham.
"critic John Simon in a review of "The Government Inspector" as revived by Tony Randall and his New York company"
On Acting Technique:
If a fetchingly cleft chin can be called a performance, Schell can be said to act.
"critic John Simon on Maximilian Schell"
She has made an acting style out of postnasal drip.
"critic Pauline Kael on Sandy Dennis"
Sandy Dennis] has balanced her postnasal condition with something like prefrontal lobotomy, so that when she is not a walking catarrh she is a blithering imbecile.
"critic John Simon in a review of "The Fox
I deny I ever said that actors are cattle. What I said was, "Actors should be "treated "like cattle."
"director Alfred Hitchcock"
"Gene Wilder (playing a mild-mannered accountant in" The Producers"): "
Have you lost your mind? How can you "kill the actors"? . . . Actors are not animals. They're human beings.
They are? Have you ever eaten with one?
On Actors, Egos of:
Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor--unassisted.
"attributed to Wilson Mizner, part owner of the famous Hollywood hangout the Brown Derby"
On Actors in Politics:
My only problem with Ed Asner is that he speaks with the authority of Lou Grant and the brains of Ted Baxter.
"John Leboutillier, conservative politician, on activist actor Ed Asner"
On Actors, Not So Good:
He had delusions of adequacy.
"Walter Kerr, critic, on an anonymous actor"
On Actors, Overacting:
Burt Lancaster Before he can pick up an ashtray, he discusses his motivation for an hour or two. You want to say, "Just pick up the ashtray, and shut up "
"Jeanne Moreau, actress"
On Actors, Overwhelmingly Difficult:
Not since Attila the Hun swept across Europe leaving 500 years of total blackness has there been a man like Lee Marvin.
"director Josh Logan"
On Actors, Sexy:
You can look at De Niro in a film and think, "Something's eating him." You look at Caan and think, "He's eating something . . . pizza?"
"Kathy Huffhines on actor James Caan"
On Actors, the "Final "Word:
They shot too many pictures and not enough actors.
"columnist Walter Winchell"
On Actors, The "Final "Final Word:
Don't ever forget what I'm going to tell you. Actors are crap.
"famed Hollywood director John Ford"
On Actors, Summation of Their Movies:
A Picture to Throw Up By.
"actor Tom Skerritt describing "The Devil's Rain," a film starring John Travolta"
Any of my indiscretions were with people, not actresses.
"DarrylF. Zanuck, movie mogul, defending his affairs"
I made the mistake early in my career, when I moved to Hollywood, of being attracted to actresses. I used to go out exclusively with actresses and all other female impersonators.
"Mort Sahl, humorist, in "Heartland
On Adolescence, Political:
He is a man suffering from petrified adolescence.
"Aneurin Bevan, Welsh Labour MP, on Winston Churchill"
. . . the highest-ranking withdrawn adolescent since Alexander Hamilton in 1794.
"columnist Murray Kempton on Robert F. Kennedy"
I admire Ted Kennedy. How many 59-year-olds do you know who still go to Florida for spring break?
"Pat Buchanan, columnist and then Republican presidential hopeful"
She has only two things going for her--a father and a mother.
"critic John Simon on Liza Minnelli"
I was swimming for two hours in shark-infested waters and I got away.
"Herman J. Mankiewicz (screenwriter): "
I think that's what they call professional courtesy.
I dread the thought of forty-five.
"Actress Rosalind Russell: "
Why? What happened to you then, dear?
Ronald Reagan is remarkably fit, but he doesn't cup his hand to his ear as a sunshade.
"Sam Donaldson, journalist"
On Aging Rockers, Why Not to Show Topless:
Their skin had gone purple and blue. They looked like a couple of very unattractive old men, which is basically what they are.
"Shem Law, "Seventeen" magazine art director, explaining why they didn't run a photo of bare-chested guitarist JoePerry (aged 43) and clothed singer Steve Tyler (46) of Aerosmith"
On American Know-how:
Bennett, who had been secretary of education without solving the problems of education and drug czar without solving the problems of drugs, now wants to write a book on how to solve the problems of both. In America, this is what we call "expertise."
"Roger Simon, Baltimore "Sun" columnist"
They are a race of convicts, and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
"Samuel Johnson, writer and lexicographer, on Americans"
We call them Twinkies. You've seen them on television acting the news, modeling and fracturing the news while you wonder whether they've read the news--or if they've blow-dried their brains, too.
"Linda Ellerbee, journalist and writer, in "And So It Goes
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