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Andy's nice and all, but I would totally bang Leo. May 29, 2008 (110 of 131 found this helpful)
I am an Emily Giffin fan. I am an unabashed, unashamed Emily Giffin fan. Her books pull me in the way a good date does, attracting me with a glossy exterior but keeping me interested by revealing a surprising depth.
LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH contains the usual smart, charmed female protagonist living in a rather romanticized version of New York. But, in the first chapter, Giffin does something different. She introduces us to the main character's tempting dilemma - a charged encounter on the street with a hot, old boyfriend - before even telling us her name.
The character's name is Ellen. She's so analytical that she's practically obsessive compulsive. And she spends a lot of LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH debating what she should - and should not - do about her cute, sweet husband Andy and her smoldering, brooding, dark and troubled ex-boyfriend Leo.
While Ellen's happy with Andy, she keeps thinking, "What if?"
This is the central problem of many a novel, but Giffin manages to hook the reader in with - dare I say it - some of the most erotic, intriguing flashbacks to Ellen's former relationship with Leo.
The husband Andy is a charming character, but, in Ellen's shoes, I would totally bang Leo. Giffin writes him as though he exudes sex through his eyes, through his pores. It's all very hard to resist.
And, it must be said, the inclusion of those scenes alongside many snarky references to my hometown of Atlanta kept me very entertained.
Strangely though, instead of flying all the way through it as I usually do, I flew through to Chapter Ten or so, then found myself taking a small break from it to concentrate on other things. Around the time that Ellen went to the charming, stylized Atlanta for the first time and then to photograph rock star Drake Watters, I was intrigued again.
After that, I was pulled back into the book every time that Ellen's sister Suzanne, a minor character with an edgy point-of-view, appeared on the page, though, for she was the voice I most related to in the long course of the book.
The core family of Ellen's in-laws at the center of the book, though, didn't always have my sympathies. In life, I tend to find those sorts of blessed, charmed, passive-aggressive, let's-put-on-a-smile types suspicious. Giffin makes was a very, very interesting move to have Ellen not just marry a man like Andy, but marry into her best friend and sister-in-law Margot's family. Giffin's excellent at exploring the dynamics of female friendship, and the Ellen-Margot friendship is satisfyingly complicated.
When Ellen is perplexed by her ex, she loses her chief confidante in Margot, for Margot's loyalty might go to her brother when news of what Ellen's secrets might come out.
The changing alliances of the marriage brings out Ellen's insecurity about her place, her feelings about her mother and how her own family must've felt intimidated and outmatched in comparison to the Grahams. Great, great stuff.
Of course, the protagonist Ellen might divide readers, for Ellen's in what many women would consider an ideal, supportive situation with a rich, successful and essentially sweet husband, loving in-laws, a nice house, a good career and such. Some readers might approach the book with the outset of "What the hell is she doing even thinking about infidelity when she's got it made?" But, once again, Giffin impresses by putting her protagonist squarely in the middle of what, at face value, seems like an indefensible position and manages to make her real, charming, vulnerable, reasonable and a heroine worthy of my attention as a reader and even my heart. Ellen, shockingly, considers infidelity for what feels like very valid reasons involving her heart and her choices.
It's a very smart book.
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Another great book from Emily Giffin May 18, 2008 (35 of 40 found this helpful)
On the surface, Ellen Graham appears to have the perfect life. She has a successful career as a photographer and is married to Andy, a wealthy lawyer who's a fantastic guy and also happens to be the brother of Ellen's best friend, Margot. Several months after Ellen and Andy's wedding, Ellen is going about her business on the streets of New York City when she bumps into Leo, her ex-boyfriend. Ellen hasn't seen or spoken to Leo in years, but as soon as she sees him again, she can't stop thinking about him. Eventually Ellen is forced to decide if what she had with Leo so long ago is worth fighting for, or if she truly belongs with the man she walked down the aisle with.
I always enjoy Emily Giffin's books, and "Love the One You're With" is no exception. Ellen is a very relatable character. I think a lot women encounter their own Leo at some point in their lives, a man who's difficult to completely let go of, for one reason or another. However, the book was very predictable right from the start, and it was pretty obvious how everything would turn out. (There's no such thing as an unhappy ending in an Emily Giffin book!) The ending in itself seemed rather rushed, in my opinion, and I would have enjoyed a longer Ellen/Margot reconciliation scene at the end: Their friendship was a major part of the book, and the resolution between the two characters took up less than three pages at the end of the novel. Still, I enjoyed this book from beginning to end and could not put it down.
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Real love is about using the heart AND the head! May 20, 2008 (67 of 81 found this helpful)
Not my favorite of Ms. Giffen's books, but interestingly, it is the book that I have been most able to relate to. I understand Ellen's need to understand and process, and ulimately resolve, the difference between the love she feels for her husband, and the love she feels/felt for her ex. I think that the book's realistic yet affirming take on love marriage and commitment is a welcome read for the so called "chick lit" genre.
At the same time, I lost patience with Ellen by page 75. By page 158, I was almost angry with her for taking so long to figure it out. By page 215, I simply vowed to finish the book by the end of the day, and get it over with. Lucky for me, the ending was sweet, and everyone that mattered was happy.
I think the problem is that there was not enough action and plot, and most of the characters -- the ones that I most wanted to learn about -- were kind of flat and one-dimensional. Overall, a good read, and I will buy Ms. Giffen's next book the week it comes out as well.
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Loved Love the One Your With May 14, 2008 (32 of 39 found this helpful)
I have really enjoyed all of Emily Giffin's novels but this one was far and away my favorite. Ellen, the main character, finds herself leading a more charmed lifestyle than she ever imagined and begins to wonder if there can be too much of a good thing. I know it sounds like she would be a little hard to empathize with but like so many of Giffin's heroines Ellen is instantly relatable and you fall right in step with the way she thinks. Because she is so identifiable you also find yourself (like Ellen) trying to justify what may not be right. The story takes a lot of twists and Giffin throws in moral hiccups to muddy the waters of right and wrong. I rooted for and against about every character at some point and changed my mind over and over again. Bottom line I felt very involved in the novel which for me always constitutes a good book.
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Life is about the choices we make Jun 17, 2008 (33 of 41 found this helpful)
Like Giffin's first three books, Love the One You're With is about the life choices we make. Ellen's choice here is somewhat predictable, but the journey she makes toward that decision is poignant. In this novel, Ellen has the greatest sexual chemistry with Leo, and its easy to see why she was attracted to him in the first place. Her relationship with Andy, however, seems a little out in left field. In addition, Ellen herself got on my nerves, because she kept posturing herself as better than her husband's family (despite the fact that they look on her as one of their own). I also thought Giffin's depiction of Pittsburghers didn't ring true--its almost as though she's never even met someone from there, much less been there; many Pittsburghers I know are rabid Steelers fans and say "y'uns." It's more working class than the eastern part of Pennsylvania, for sure, but I thought this depiction of Pittsburgh was way too stereotypical for my taste.
On the other hand, I think that Ellen's situation is relatable. We've all run into an ex here and there, and we've all had to make the kinds of decisions that Ellen makes here. Emily Giffin's books are always thought-provoking and "intelligent" chick lit. That said, however, I definitely preferred Something Borrowed to this book.