-
Good, but Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is better Oct 29, 2009 (218 of 250 found this helpful)
When this book came out in 1995 it was earth shattering for a lot of people, myself included, and I've enjoyed it and learned from it immensely since then. It details why IQ is not the sole predictor of success, and it reviews powerful academic studies that show how emotional intelligence impacts important life outcomes. At that time, most people didn't know what emotional intelligence was, and this book's introduction to the concept, how it works in the brain, and why it's important to adults and children alike was all we had.
Fifteen years have passed since this book was published, and it has become outdated. It doesn't show you how to improve your EQ, which is something that researchers have discovered how to do during the last decade.
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 (published this year) picks up where Emotional Intelligence left off and I just love it! 2.0 has a step-by-step program that I used to increase my emotional intelligence, as well as access to an online emotional intelligence test that showed me where I need to improve. Emotional intelligence has finally come full circle!
-
This is a book which has profoundly changed my life Dec 30, 2005 (425 of 525 found this helpful)
I placed my original order for Dan Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" about one month before it's release in 1995 after reading the Time magazine cover story "What is Your E.Q.?" At the time I was going through a very difficult divorce, and I was asking myself the question "What did I do to deserve this terrible mess?" I was a 37 year old medical internist then who, in 7th grade, modeled my emotional style after Mr. Spock (from Star Trek) to avoid emotional issues I faced then. I accepted the messages from my parents and teachers who taught me that if I earned good grades, went to college, received an undergraduate and hopefully a graduate degree, then I shall expect to become happy & successful in life. Well, I DID that. I got the T-shirt. I graduated from high school as class valedictorian, winning the science award, I was awarded by my classmates "most likely to succeed", and I won a very handsome scholarship which paid all my undergraduate tuition for 4 years and offered me a summer job. In college I won more scholarships and graduated phi beta kappa in the top 3% of my class. In medical school & residency I did well, but this was more difficult for me as I had to learn to deal with many emotionally and socially challenging issues I was poorly prepared to deal with, but I got through them, but initially was not very adept at dealing with them.
When I entered professional life I started to ponder more the emotional issues in the lives of my patients, and in my own life, and I was slowly coming to terms with the importance of these issues. In 1995, as I reflected upon the failure of my marriage and the miserable circumstances in which I found myself, I realized my biggest contribution to the failure of that marriage was the rational "Spockish" persona I brought to that relationship and my lack of attunement to my inner emotional life. I was ready for a new paradigm of how intellect should relate to feeling.
Goleman's insights on emotional intelligence revolutionized the way I relate to my intellectual and emotional life. Where formerly I was of the belief that the mind was the key to happiness and success in life (and the emotions merely got in the way of clear heading reasoning), I have now come to view that the true formula for success & happiness is the development of an intelligent mind surrendered to an intelligent heart. In my practice in internal medicine, I have come to realize that issues of emotional intelligence (or rather, lack of it) either cause or drive numerous medical problems and I regular strive to teach my patients about emotional intelligence and I often share Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" (or abridged audiocassettes) with them. The book has made a very profound contribution to my practice, to my life, and to the lives of many of my patients. I have given talks at educational conferences to encourage education to teaching emotional intelligence. I have written articles to magazines and books regarding a model of education which integrates intellectual, emotional, moral, and spiritual intelligences (I see emotional intelligence as a gateway to moral and spiritual intelligence).
Especially to those of you who are stuck in the "mind is everything (& ignore your emotions)" paradigm of happiness and success in life, I urge you to read this book. The same goes for educators, physicians, and corporate leaders. I rate Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" among the top 5 most life altering books of my life, and that deserves 5 stars (if not ten).
Kenneth A. Miller, MD
-
Not exactly what it appears to be Apr 15, 2000 (422 of 551 found this helpful)
There is a lot to admire here and I enjoyed returning to a genre (popular psychology) that I left many years ago. If my recollection is correct, Goleman's book is a step beyond such "classics" as I'm Okay, You're Okay..., etc., particularly in terms of scholarship. I liked the way he took the medical profession to task for its lack of empathy and its failure to provide emotional support for patients. He does not however address the cause, which is the desire of the AMA and its members to maintain the exclusivity and high economic status of the profession. I loved the affection Goleman showed for the children learning to be social.
However I don't think the book is about emotional so much as social intelligence, and perhaps that is entirely to the good since social intelligence is a fundamental human need, and certainly for most people it is easier to learn social skills than it is to discard negative emotions and achieve positive ones. Most of the book is about how to behave effectively in society, how to make adjustments in marriage, on the job, with peers, at school, etc. Some space is given to the experiences in childhood that mold us emotionally (or so it is believed).
This is all fine, but I don't think Goleman makes much of a case for changing emotions as he does for changing behavior. Of course, I'm all for that: if you don't feel empathy, at least fake it! On page 107 for example he talks about the "utter lack of empathy for their victims" by "child molesters and other such offenders." He describes "one of the most promising treatment programs" in which "the offenders read heart-wrenching accounts of crimes like their own, told from the victim's perspective." The psychologist who developed the program claims that the recidivism rate for those who complete the program is half that of those who did not receive the treatment. Even if true, it doesn't follow that these guys learned any empathy. Most likely they learned more clever behavior, and of course the people who entered and stayed with the program are preselected to not return for any number of reasons, mainly they're smarter.
I have a similar objection to the idea (for example) that depression leads to increased death and disease. Certainly the life expectancy of depressed people is less than that of optimistic people, but it is not clear whether depression is a cause or a symptom. And the well known connection between social isolation and morbidity reported by Goleman doesn't necessarily mean that social isolation kills, but could mean that people who want to die, first isolate themselves from society, which is the way in some cultures-or it could mean something else entirely.
I also object to the general idea that emotions, instruments of the evolutionary mechanism, can or should be much influenced by society except in self-defense. The purpose of many emotions is to drive the individual in a direction consistent with the needs of the species mechanism regardless of what society or the individual wants. The needs, concerns and prejudices of any given society are relatively ephemeral notions compared to the evolutionary imperative, and in many cases it's a good thing we have instincts that override what society wants.
Goleman's book is understandably written from the point of view of the society and as such puts social concerns first; however I am at that place in my life where I find the concerns of the individual to be more important. The (rather limited) psychological tradition that Goleman is an effective spokesman for, is not to me as important or as valuable or even as "true" as the psychological ideas found in the great religions of the world.
One last very important quibble: nowhere in the book is the most deleterious emotion mentioned or identified as such. That emotion is desire. Goleman, unaccountably, does not even identify sexual desire! He lists love in Appendix A
-
Don't Be An Emotional Retard Jul 8, 2009 (33 of 41 found this helpful)
This book just confirms what I've been thinking for years- intelligence, that is "book smarts", is just ONE piece of what contributes to a person's overall success in life- and in no way guarantees anything. You can be the smartest person in the world, but if you don't have other qualities like self-esteem or persistence- well, there's a good chance that you won't be happy. Case in point, there is no scientific literature linking IQ or academic ability to happiness levels (check out "Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World" for a good summary of this and more happiness research). Anyway, this book does a good job of elaborating on the idea that intelligence will only get you so far in life- and spends its time telling you why. Here's a quick rundown of the book's five parts:
-Part 1 talks about the brain's "emotional architecture"
-Part 2 shows the reader how neurological givens play out in the most basic flair for living called "emotional intelligence"
-Part 3 examines some key differences this aptitude makes
-Part 4 gets into emotional intelligence and childhood
-Part 5 explores the hazards of not mastering the emotional side of things
So, if the idea of improving your life by taking a look at the emotional side of things sounds interesting to you, I would highly recommend checking this book it out.
-
Many interesting things to consider, but becomes monotonous May 4, 2001 (162 of 213 found this helpful)
I must admit I'm torn between a thumbs up and a thumbs down for this book (hence, 3 stars). Author Daniel Goleman does a fine job of employing a vast library of behavioral research in support of the premise that emotional conditioning plays a dominant role in what we perceive as "intelligence." Even though one can learn lots from Goleman's work, the overriding theme here seems to me to be ridiculously simple: good nurturing (rather than aptitude) is more likely to produce exceptional humans; bad nurturing creates people with a bunch of problems.
The book starts off great, with a look at what happens in the brain at the molecular level under all sorts of emotional experiences. That's Part One (Goleman recommends skipping this if you're not into neurological details), which turned out to be the most interesting for me, as I had never before learned much about the emotional "architecture" of the brain.
In Parts Two through Five, the author expounds on feelings (e.g., anger, empathy, passion, depression), personality, upbringing, aptitude, and treatment, etc., citing study after study to show that today's children are most decidedly a product of how they were treated in their earliest years, but nevertheless are winding up far less able then their ancestors were to handle even the slightest emotional dilemma. In fact, the further on you read, the more you'll realize that "Emotional Intelligence" is a book about children. Why is their character deteriorating, and what can we do to mold them into more emotionally strong (intelligent) beings? That's okay: if you're a parent, educator, or child psychologist, definitely buy this book. It will help.
As for me, I appreciated Goleman's connection of personality with science in an unexpected, enlightening way. However, except for Part One, I got so bogged down in page after page of studies and stats, all concluding the same thing over and over again, that it became a chore to plow through to the end. Overall, this is a monumental work, but I can't recommended it to everyone.