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He knows his stuff. Don't overlook this one. Jun 6, 2009 (53 of 63 found this helpful)
Seriously, I know he's a comic and everything, but he's got some good advice in this book. And it's not hard to read, either. He has a lot humor that makes this book so enjoyable to read. I liked it so much, I hope he has a followup. I'd recommend it, definetly, along with Lucky In Love, Lucky In Life: How To Be Wanted-Use the Law of Attraction to Date the Man You Most Desire and Live the Life You Deserve.
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Steve, what have you been smoking???!!! Apr 27, 2009 (49 of 58 found this helpful)
So a man must be complimented for watching his OWN children, women must give up hobbie that they enjoy but their husbands are too cowardly to participate in, all men are spoiled ego centric babies who you have to treat like a spoiled child. I saw him on Oprah and thought that the book might be good until I saw the 1950's nonsense he was spewing. It is not MY job to make our home a welcoming place, it's not MY job to take care of the kids and home so you don't have to be bothered and it most certainly NOT my job to make you feel like a man. If a man doesn't know how to act like a man when you meet him, you most certainly don't want him. Steve, you made me throw up in my mouth a lot.
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Mostly, I found his candor helpful Feb 23, 2009 (198 of 247 found this helpful)
Women are "leaving the door open for a guy to get away with something...Here's what's happened over the years," says comic and radio host Steve Harvey. "Women's standards and requirements have lowered over the years. And as men, we know that. We have taken advantage of it. We've created terms that we feed to women that allow us to exist as we do," he told Belinda Luscome when discussing his New York Times best seller, co-authored with Denene Millner, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. For example, Harvey said (and I'm abbreviating) ...
1. We created the term "nagging." There's really no such thing as nagging. As soon as a woman starts registering her complaint, we call it nagging. We let you know it will drive us away.
2. When you first meet a man, so you don't ask a lot of personal questions, and questions about his business, we created the term gold-digger. Now why would a woman not be concerned about her financial future?
3. Three things men want from women: support, loyalty and "the cookie" (sex): "We'll take a lot of things from a woman. But we have to have these three things. You take away any one of them, you lose a man's affection."
4. Three ways men show love to women: profess, provide and protect: "We have to define love in some kind of way. The problem with women is they have this great spectrum of what love is, and they want it reciprocated the same way they give it out. But we men can only nurture to a certain degree. It's not in our DNA ... We want to profess our love. We tell everyone," he told an Atlanta audience.
5. "Men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make. ... These three things make up the basic DNA of manhood-the three accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like he's truly fulfilled his destiny as a man..., and until he's achieved his goal in those three areas, the man you're dating, committed to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you" Harvey wrote in the book.
"I've had two divorces myself. I understand. What I was never able to convey until I got a little older was why I was missing in action... trying so hard to be somebody ... not as emotionally involved," says Harvey who adds that he "could have written it (his book) in "about 35 pages.... because we're guys. We are that simple," he added in the interview.
Sometimes Harvey he sounds like he's offering 1950s Mad Men-era advice, yet not as much as Whitey Casey in The Man Plan. It gets men nodding and some women giving heated responses to him on call-in talk shows:
* Take your husbands last name. It supports men's desire to protect women.
* Men still expect women to keep a clean home.
* It is ok if women don't know how to cook as long as they "cook" in the bedroom.
Three things to ask a man "to decide if he is worth keeping", suggests Harvey, are (and these are just as valuable in reverse for men to ask women) are his:
1. Short-term goals and whether they match his long-term goals.
2. Views on family and kids.
3. Relationship with his mom
I would add:
4. Relationship to his friends
5. Views on money, especially on spending and saving.
6. Strongest values: what most matters to him in character traits and behavior.
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Boys Shack. Men Build Homes. Mar 5, 2009 (28 of 32 found this helpful)
From: www.BasilAndSpice.com
Author & Book Views On A Healthy Life!
Book Review: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment (Harper Collins, 2009) by Steve Harvey with Denene Miller
Veteran comedian Steve Harvey has risen to the pinnacle of the love and relationships world with one book--Act Like a Lady--Think Like A Man (Harper Collins, 2009) with Denene Miller. The son of parents who have been married 46 years, Harvey's book developed out of questions from many women during the course of his show, who simply do not understand the simplicity of men. The purpose of the book: show women how to achieve a solid relationship, whether they're dating, engaged, or married.
Harvey writes that men focus on three points of extreme interest:
1. Who they are (their title)
2. How they get their title (job/career)
3. And what they achieve (money earned)
I've been married more than 20 years to my own husband. I must agree with Harvey, that this is true. Men are defined by other men. They look at each other's car/truck, watch, home, etc..as signs of success. Until a man is on his way in life, he cannot sit around and discuss his relationship with you. Harvey clarifies this situation quite well.
Before a relationship progresses too far, Harvey wants every woman to ask her potential man these five questions:
1. What are your short-term goals?
2. What are your long-term goals?
3. What are your views on relationships?
4. What do you think about me?
5. How do you feel about me?
22 years ago, I asked my husband similar questions, including what he thought about children and divorce.
Harvey includes further great chapters which really open up a man's mind to a woman:
* "Men Respect Standards--Get Some"
* "Why Men Cheat"
* "Mama's Boys"
* "Sports Fish vs. Keepers--" Example: "A woman who is dressed appropriately--has her goodies reasonably covered, but is still sexy, is a keeper; a woman who is scantily clad and dripping sex is a throwback."
* "We Need to Talk, And Other Words That Make Men Run For Cover"
* "How to Get the Ring"
Harvey offers up front honest advice for women who have been sacrificing themselves in search of the right guy. He extols women to put themselves first and not be afraid of losing the guy. "If a man truly loves you, he's not going anywhere." This reminds me of a friend from long ago who was recently divorced and in search of a new husband. Each fellow dated her a short while and moved on. She didn't know what the problem was. I warned her not to give the milk away for free with the latest guy. "Too late for that!" she stated. He moved on too.
Near the back of the book, Harvey includes a section for questions you've always wanted answered:
Example: Do men prefer skinny or thick women?
Example: Do men like women who cook more than women who don't?
Example: Do men secretly evaluate whether you'll be a good mother, homemaker, and so on? Answer: Absolutely!
Likewise women, evaluate a potential mate.
Writing under the premise that too many women don't understand men, and men get away with way too much, Harvey, as a father, wishes to raise awareness among women, while at the same time forcing men to be honest about their attitude toward the relationship.
If you're tired of mama's boys, men who won't commit or you're in search of the elusive catch, this book's for you. Harvey shows the reader when to be honest, when to compromise a bit, and when to hold her man to a standard, because "boys shack," but "men build homes."
5 Stars
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Fly in the Barbershop Jan 29, 2009 (197 of 246 found this helpful)
Women can sit around with our girlfriends talking about how much men don't make sense or how they won't act right, but we oftentimes find better advice by actually asking for advice from our guy friends. The only problem is our guy friends may lie to spare our feelings, but Steve Harvey is not trying to be our friends and he's telling it like it t.i.s. in his new book, "Act Like a Lady: Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment."
Harvey breaks down all of the things that women need to know about men in 15 chapters on relationships--mama's boys, marriage, whether we are the ones for men to sports fish (reel in and throw back into the water when they're done) or a keeper; when we should introduce men to our child(ren); why the 90-day rule for sex makes sense; how independent women can remember to be ladies; the three things that drive men (who they are, what they do, and how much they make); and why "We need to talk" is a phrase that is man's worst enemy.
There are some contradictions within the read, like why women need to get out of the 1945 mentality of waiting on men to marry them, but at the same time, sticking to the chivalrous expectations of letting him open doors, wearing heels, carrying heavy items and letting him fix things and paint. (However, I interviewed him for the "Chicago Defender" [article will be out in February sometime] and he explained why he felt some old-fashioned values should still be met. His analysis made sense too.)
But for every contradiction, there are lessons that make so much sense. Harvey has a point. Women are far more complex with their emotions than men are, judging from his research and his own opinions and observance from my own friends. Poet Maya Angelou said it best when saying "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." That was the main theme throughout Harvey's read--to set standards and stick to them. While some men may feel like Harvey is snitching, women like me finished the read feeling educated and confident in my past decisions. Excellent and quick read, but grab your highlighters and take notes.